2009/06/08

Burning Bridges


It seems I only blog when I'm ranting about something or another. Which would therefore mean that the infrequency of my blogs is a clear indicator of my contentment. Or lazyness. Whichever.

Nevertheless, I have once again found it necessary to rant/cuss/vent about a few things that have caused me much discontent in the past few weeks.

In anticipation of my upcoming celebration of birth (June 27th, mark it down in your calendars!), I've decided to get all feelings of anger and hate out of my heart so that I may start my 24th year on this earth, like a newborn, free of all anger and disdain.

With that said, I shall make this quick as I should have been at the gym about an hour ago.

Recently, I've been noticing what a changed person I am. Tame even.

The rebellious, raucous and eccentric person I knew (and loved dearly) has become more subdued, more tolerant and, dare I say, the biggest hypocrite I've had the pleasure of knowing.

Okay maybe not the biggest, but certainly rivaling the worst.

I say this all because of the huge bite mark that has been permanently tattooed to my tongue sake of my being cosmopolitan.

I cannot count the number of occassions I've had to hold my tongue for fear that its lashing would gash such a fire that all bridges behind and possibly in front of me would be burnt to cinders.

From school to social settings I've found it increasingly difficult to be my true self in a society where I am constantly being scrutinized and stereotyped. And so, I am forced to be politically correct amidst unpolitical inaccuracy. Babylon if you will.

Not saying that I long to revert to my leggobeastical ways, but more time I really want to just speak my mind. To tell those concerned just how predjudicial, superficial, judgmental, and prudical (my word) they really and truly are.

Alas, I refrain from doing any such thing for fear that one day I'll need to cross a river/fording and find that the bridge to facilitate my onward journey had already been burnt to the ground.

and so I blog/rant/vent.

iNi

may have changed, but my resolve is strong.

NadYa Dee



2009/05/19

Blogging from the iPhone.

Trying to get back on the blogging horse. So I'm testing out this blog app that allows me to blog from the iPhone.

Nothing philosophical here.

As you were.

iNi
NadYa Dee

2009/03/31

Men are like foliage


Last week while I was sick, I purchased cut flowers for my apartment to help lift my spirits. As a single person getting sick is one of the worst things that can happen to you. Anyhoo, as I cut and arranged my flowers I began thinking of how convenient it is to just be able to buy flowers when you need them and just discard them when they've served their purpose.

Which led me to think about men, not all men, but most certainly my men. You see, to some extent men are like flowers, there's some that you want to plant in your garden and nurture and watch them grow, and there are some that look good and make you happy for a while but you don't want to keep them and you certainly don't want to maintain them so you buy and/or borrow them from someone else who does. 

If only life were so simple. Alas...

During the winter I hadn't been doing any gardening (and yes gardening is also a metaphor for my sex life) I think I may have even killed my aloe plants :o(

On a side note, my mint plant has been thriving although I haven't been paying it much attention, now if I could only find a man to do the same... *sigh* 

And we're back!

...but now after seeing the sakura (cherry blossoms) and feel the seasons change I have decided to start my gardening again (metaphor pause: a certain type of gardening in particular). (Metaphor unpause) It's going to be hard work but it always relaxes me. :o)

These are a few of my plants from last year.

  


I'm also going to try to be more social, I've been pretty much hibernating this winter but in the months to come I intend to be more forthcoming with my comradery. 

Could this be some innate need to nurture? Some inert desire to procreate? Naah I doubt it. 

I think I'm just horny...AGAIN.

iNi 
want to plant a seed and watch it grow (PUN UNINTENDED...gross lol)

NadYa Dee

2009/03/23

Wifey's Night Out/ Matey's Night In


The light from the full moon causes wavy stripes on the sheer curtains as it shines through her pane. A gust of wind blows the curtains towards her phone as it vibrates on the edge of the bed.

Not that she notices, she's distracted by the current vibrations between her legs. It's not until the batteries die that she realizes that her bed is still vibrating. She grabs for the phone but by then the call is gone.

3 Missed Calls.

It's him. She's been avoiding his calls and sex messages ever since that fateful night. She still hasn't wrapped her mind around how close they came to being caught and even more so, how excited he seemed about it.

She knows it's wrong but still she tries to justify their actions. It's raw passion. They were meant to be together. The dick is sooo good! But she can't shake the feeling that she shouldn't be doing it, that she should know better.

Then something stronger tells her that it's fate, that the universe understands her plight. That's why he rang just as she was fanstasizing about his tongue stroking her special place, desperately trying to recreate the moment they last touched.

She stares at her phone and the vibration jolts her back to reality.

"One Voice Message".

She contemplates whether or not to check it. Curiousity gets the best of her, she presses call and puts the phone to her ear.

Nothing. She sighs and decides to get back to her task when she remembers that her batteries had died. She rummages through every drawer in the house for a spare battery. Anything to just help her get a few more minutes. She gives up after checking under the bed and in the fridge.

She needed relief, just a little satisfaction. Going another night with this tension building up inside her would be torture. Her cup was full, at the brink of overflow. There was only one thing left to do.

Taking up the phone, she scrolls to the last received call and presses Send.

It connects after the first ring and before she has a chance to speak he says,

"You haven't been answering my calls." His voice has a frustrated tone and she knows exactly what is on his mind. It's the same thing that has been on her mind since the last time she saw him; the reason her batteries are all dead.


"Where are you now?"

"Around the road from you"

"Good. I need a favour"

"I'll be there in 5 minutes" and he hangs up before she can explain what the favour is.

By the time she gets dressed, he's outside. She grabs her purse, her phone and her keys and leaves, locking the door behind her.

She jumps into the car before he has a chance to park and come out.

"So what do you need me to do?" he asks with a knowing smile on his face. She silently prays that he doesn't lick his lips because she feels as if she's about to erupt.

"Uhm, I need to aaah, buy some batteries, right, batteries" she's flustered, but manages to avoid eye contact as she adjusts herself in the seat.

"Ohhhhkay then, batteries" he's taken aback by her request but figures it's a good enough excuse just to be with her. He puts his hand on her knee, she pulls away.

When they pull into the parking lot of the pharmacy he finally asks, "Why do you need batteries @ 9 in the night anyways?"

She hadn't expected him to ask her why, to ask her anything for that matter. She was just playing it by ear.

Struggling to find words she mutters, "Well uhm you see I was uhm doing some...is it hot in here?"

She looks up and meets his quizzical stare and finding herself unable to lie, she blurts out "I need it for my dildo okay? are you happy?"

Unamused when he begins chuckling, she crosses her arms frustrated by his complete disdain for her current state of desperation. Men can be so cruel sometimes.

"Why would you need a dildo," he says with a wry smile "when you have all this at your disposal?" he asks as he places her right hand firmly on his crotch.

She slowly runs her fingers along its contours, unable to resist the fact that this is what she had been needing all along. Falling directly into fate's trap, she relaxes as he leans to gently kiss her neck, licking circles then blowing them away, nibbling at the tender spot beneath her lobe. As he continues she feels all the stress that has been building up for the past weeks melt away, the knot in her back has loosened, her head feels light.

He always knew exactly what to do to get her wet. Still rubbing the bulge in his pants she leans her head to the left, allowing him to leave his mark on her neck. Making his way back up to her ears he whispers "I've missed you so much."


She turns her head to face his and kissing his lips, she whispers "I've missed you even more."

~~~*~~~*~~~

It's almost like deja vu as he pulls into his driveway; the same driveway in which they had their last encounter. Only this time he pulls directly into the garage and locks the gate behind them.

Sitting quietly in the car she fidgets with her keys and phone debating whether this was such a good idea after all. How could she be so weak? How could she give herself over to him again? When he comes back to open her door she looks up to see the full moon reflecting through his eyes. Without words her questions have been answered.

As they climb the stairs to the bedroom he assures her that wifey and child would be gone for the weekend and they'd have the entire night and the entire house to themselves.

It was still risky but something about finally spending the night with him had erased her fears. There was something daring about entering their home; now a forbidden lair of their inequity. This was all she had been waiting for. In the bedroom he quickly undresses, gets into bed and under the sheets. Smiling, he pats the space beside him, beckoning her to join him.

Kicking her shoes off, she awkwardly positions herself above the sheet, as reality creeps into her psyche. This is their marital bed. And as much as he tried to convince her that he wasn't in love with his wife anymore, she couldn't help but notice the nightie hanging on the closet door and her tray of perfumes on the dresser. For some reason she thought they slept separately. Because he gave her the impression they weren’t being intimate. Yet the room reeked of her presence.

I shouldn’t be here, she thought. Her back tenses as she sits up in the bed, involuntarily staring at the closet door.

As he reaches up to rub her breasts, she turns so that he can’t see the shame engulfing her face. His hands then fall on her shoulders and he readjusts himself to give her a massage. He feels the tenseness in her shoulder, half-knowing the reason.

"We had a fight,” his voice startles her. For a moment she had forgotten where she was.

"What?" she asks as she gathers her bearings, feeling more and more relaxed as he gently erases the knots in her neck.

"She got upset with me over some foolishness and she packed up some stuff and left. Said she needed time to think."

Again she asks "What?" still astonished by his openness. They’ve never spoken about his marriage problems before.

"You" he replies. She spins around suddenly almost elbowing him in the face.

"ME?" she shouts, almost too loudly, "How I drop into this?"

"Well not you exactly" he clarifies "but recently she's been noticing that I've been, well, distracted and somewhat preoccupied. And when she asked me if it was someone else… I didn't exactly say no."

"What did you say? exactly?"

"I don't know. But what I do know is that I want you. I can't stop thinking about you. Every day I wonder when I'm going to see you again or hear your voice. I can barely concentrate. It's like..."

Before he's able to finish his sentence, she pounces on him, kissing him passionately. She knows exactly how he feels because it's the same thing she's been feeling since the day they first met.

He runs his hand up the back of her shirt then pulls her bra as he sucks on her lower lip, alternately slipping his tongue in and out of her mouth. She moans and lifts her arms above her head allowing him to lift her shirt off.

Carefully, they remove each other's clothing, taking care to caress every erogenous zone.

That night they make love for the first time. And as he lays there, the full moon shining on his sleeping face, she contemplates the error of her ways. How deeply she is stuck in this inconvenient situation. Unable to sleep herself, she tries to will her heart into abandoning its affection for him, to no avail. She finds no resolve; just the sound of the clock ticking their time together away.


iNi

Matefully yours

NadYa Dee

2009/03/17

These Bitches know how to WORK IT!!!


I don't usually do artist promotion on my blog. I figure there are enough sites out there doing that PLUS this site WAS made to feed my narcissism...

BUT

Avita sent me this link and I just had to share it with y'all!!! 


First let me answer a few preliminary questions. Yes it's a he and Yes he's FIERCE! 




I just spent my entire morning watching videos of Jonte on youtube then listening to his songs on myspace. Jonte's Bitch you Betta is now my ring tone. Bitch you betta!!!!

I love the choreography and the music is off the chain...you may recognise those sharp moves from Beyonce's videos like Single Ladies and Freakum dress. 

I just KNEW Bey didn't come up with that shit on her own. No wonder that limber guy from youtube got the dance moves down so well. The dance was CREATED by a Queen! 

I shoulda known! 

Anyway you look at it...
this shit is fire! 

iNi

kinda wishing I was a drag Queen right now... not really... :)

NadYa Dee

2009/03/16

Penile Dreams


Things have gotten from bad to worst. When I close my eyes I see penis. Thick like a snicker, brown and veiny. 

So if you haven't figured it out by now: HI I'm Nadya Dee I have an obsession with dick. 

I'm not sure what will come of me. I can't stop thinking about penis. It occupies my days and nights. I can't sleep, I can't eat. 

I feel like i'm being haunted by the penises of sex past and future. Penises I've had and penises to come. I see them everywhere. But none of them can I have.

I suppose it doesn't help that I sleep with a penis candle by my bedside. But it smells so nice though!

iNi
need a dick on a stick

NadYa Dee




2009/03/10

Keeping Fit

So, as of late I've been going to the gym. First I do half an hour on the running machine then it's off to weight training. I love weight training and I missed it when I wasn't doing it. There's just something so invigorating about pulling your own weight...or even a fraction of it. 

But this post is not about my experience at the gym but moreso my observations. 

There's this guy who comes to the gym at least once a week. He wears a pull over, a polo shirt, slack jeans and some white tennis looking shoes. His large stomach exceeds the confines of his pants. He wears square glasses and has thining grey hair with a few bald patches. Each time he comes to the gym he has his red bag, containing his portable TV the adaptor and his headphones. He then positions himself on one of the machines and proceeds to walk for 50 minutes while watching TV. 

I find this hilarious to watch, but what was even more hilarious was this Monday. All four machines were occupied. When he comes into the training room a look of obvious perplexity covers his face. He then paces the room, looking inquisitively at each machine. Finally, his eyes settle on the sit-up contraption. He clumsily positions himself on it, his face turning red as his head hangs precariously off the end. He struggles to sit up and barely completes one full motion before he quits, dismounting the machine, panting and sweating furiously. 

He glances back over to the machines. One person seems to be slowing down, so he scampers for his TV bag, which he had carefully placed in the corner, and collects cloth to wipe down the machine. Once the person leaves, he quickly assembles his apparatus to claim his space. Then he wipes every crevice of the machine with the cloth. 

I stare on in amazement. Clearly he has been given an ultimatum by either his wife, his kids, his doctor or all of the above to improve on his health and fitness (indicated by the excess fat hanging from his gut). However he has decided that this would not interfere with his daily news or whatever else he's watching. So he comes to the gym and walks while watching TV.


Oh the Japanese never cease to amaze me. 

iNi

just needed to share that with y'all

NadYa Dee

Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."