What the BomboPussyRaasClaat?!?!?

Ohisashiburi ne! [Long time no see] Summer is bomboclaat here!!!

Yet another year has passed hallmarking my first actual year of independence and i'm proud to say that I have survived 23 years so far on Mother Earth. I made it against all odds when the chips were down and my back against a wall yadda yadda yadda...

Alas, a trip down memory lane was not the exact purpose of this long needed post. Today, as I sat in my class watching this old movie Platoon about the American Troops in Cambodia starring Charlie Sheen, Forest Whitaker and some other pretty good actors, I was hit with a fierce reality. It's something that I've speculated on for a while but today as my students sat and watched this movie with every other word coming out of the soldiers mouth being either cocksucker, motherfucker or some other obscene expletive I finally realised that in Japan my claats mean nothing.

In essence, the word pussyclaat [i.e. cloth for the vagina] is not even remotely insulting here as it is in Jamaica. Because the truth is that it's the emotion and intention behind the word that gives it its fuel. It's the meaning that the speaker places on the word and the meaning that the receiver applies to it's usage that makes a word offensive. Telling someone over here to suck there mother would probably result in blank stares while in Jamaica it could get me shot.

I know I know this is not revolutionary thinking here, but it did have me wondering. I've often pondered on the pivotal incidents that make Japan such a peaceful society and Jamaica a ...well...not-so-peaceful one. Maybe, just maybe, it has to do with an infernal hatred within the Jamaican people which gives birth to harsh phrases intended to jab at the heart of it's enemies.

Descending from the days of slavery, Jamaica as a nation had to constantly be in defense of it's independence and now of it's culture and as such we use these words particularly through our music to "gash a fire" on our external oppressors.

Japan as a society was never subjected to the inhumanity of centuries of slavish oppression, so it's no wonder that they are able to maintain such a docile existence. There is no ongoing struggle to establish themselves as a nation because they are and have always been Japanese for longer than they can remember.

Jamaica on the other hand is a fairly newly established nation not even 100 years old and this is evident in our constant struggle to define ourselves within a chaotic global environment. Even now my country is being chastised for it's views on homosexuality, not to mention marijuana. All the while the "superpowers" continue to impose their principalities on us.

Why is it that nations are incapable of surviving independent of each other? When did live and let live become kill or be killed? It's the never-ending divide and conquer mentality that has gotten us to the state in which we're in now. Men now leave their homes to fight a war in another country, taking more lives than they can give. Everyday people suffer and die because after centuries of struggles for equality the rich still get richer while the poor continue their decent into poverty. But what happens when they hit rock bottom? What happens when all the subjugated people of the world finally decide to rise up in solidarity against their oppressors?

When that shit hits the fan everybody gets sprayed. And if that doesn't that make you want to cuss some claat, I don't know what will.

I-N-I

Nadya Dee

My Reality Show: The Japanese Office

I am 100% sure that I am on some wacky reality show.

Compounded by my rapidly growing frustration with my schools/ office/ sexlessness, I had an accident yesterday. No I wasn't hurt (just incase anyone was worrying). Actually I wouldn't even consider it an accident...it was an incident involving my vehicle and another person's vehicle.

This is actually all CLAIR's fault. Well not really, but the only reason I was at the Post Office in the first place was to mail off my final test, which they probably won't even accept anyway. To Shit.

Basically, I was exiting the Post Office in Kushikino. A car coming on the left had stopped to let me through so that they could enter the Post Office (since the entrance/exit was too small to accommodate both cars). So I pull out and am proceeding to the right when I see this car appear infront of me! I immediately step on my brakes but my front bumper makes contact scraping the right side of the woman's car. We both stop, eventually the police come, I call my English teachers, we exchange contact information, I apologise repeatedly and the issue is resolved in about an hour.

Or so I thought. But one of my english teachers had to call my office to inform my supervisor of the situation so that the insurance company could be contacted and compensation be arranged. After a long and drawn out conversation we head back to the school, crisis averted, no one injured and minor damage to each others vehicles.

I then have lunch and reluctantly head back to my town to report the incident in person to my office, because they're anal like that. I speak to my supervisor and he says he'll deal with the insurance and checks again if i'm okay. I say yes, the car only got a little scratch and I wasn't hurt. I then go home to rest because after such an ordeal (not the accident but having to deal with Japanese people in general) I just want to sleep the whole thing off.

Here is where the drama begins. I get a call around 6 pm from Cockroach (aka Kacho) informing me that we need to go to the woman's house to apologise to her. We being myself, him and Shacho (the big boss).

Now my first reaction was WTF?!?!?!?!

So I say "NO, I'm sleeping" because the whole thing just sounded preposterous. I mean I already apologised and noone was hurt. There wasn't even any major damage done.

I am rebutted with "But it is very important that we go. In Japan we apologise twice."

At first I thought it was a joke, but if there's one thing I have learnt about Cockroach is that he is incapable of telling a joke.

So I ask him if they had called her, because I assume that if we're going to this poor woman's house she's expecting us right? Right. There was obviously no way of me getting out of this without adverse repercussions and so I reluctantly agree.

I am so angry that I start crying because of how ridiculous this entire situation is. Why do I need to apologise again? Why can't I just sleep? Why won't they just leave me alone? Why me? Why?

We finally get to Kushikino after stopping to buy omiyage (Japanese for gift). Yes you heard right. They bought her cookies or cake or whatever it was. All this time I am still in shock at how surreal the entire situation is. I listen to my Ipod the entire way, trying desperately to avoid any unecessary conversation with Cockroach. Needless to say he still tried to which he got one word, monosyllabic answers. I was not amused and it showed.

As I had said before, I was under the impression that the woman was aware that we were coming. So you can imagine my horror when we finally find her apartment (after knocking on the wrong door the first time) and this poor woman has this look of confusion on her face. She had no idea who they were and what they were doing at her door.

Then comes the clincher: They ask, what sounded like "are you the person who had an accident with a gaijin today?" She says yes. Then they go on to explain that they are from my office, giving her their business cards. Meanwhile I look around for the hidden camera because this must be a prank.

Suddenly I am given the gift and I know what I'm supposed to do. I apologise again, bowing and holding out the gift to her. Typically she refused saying that it wasn't necessary and it was only a minor accident. I know that it's "Japanese custom" to be humble so I apologise again and offer her the gift, she says no again. This goes on for sometime until they beg her to take the gift. Eventually she accepted, we apologise again and she closes her door. I am still in shock. We run back to the car in the rain and head back to Ijuin. I sleep the whole way.

So basically they drove all the way to her house to apologise for the stupid gaijin (foreigner) that they are responsible for who hit her car, thereby blatantly insulting and humiliating me in the process.

Now that it's over and I've had some time to think, I am convinced that this was all staged and it was actually the first in a series of a reality show about my office focused on how many ways they can frustrate me before I snap. They were actually laughing on the way to Ijuin and i'm positive I heard the word "mission" in there somewhere.

So there you are. My life. In Japan.

Don't be surprised if you see a new reality series come out. With my confused and unamused face beneath the title.

Woe is me.

Nadya Dee.

Home Away from Home

Last week I walked to the Post Office Ginko (Bank) to take out some cash while getting some well needed fresh air and exercise. I decided that i'm going to try to stop driving around town as much since Roxy says that we all need to play our part in saving the earth, her niavete can be inspirational at times.

So there I am, walking along the road, listening to my Ipod and taking in the cool breeze while dreading the coming of the humid summer heat when I car drives by and toots, it's Maki, one of the taiko members. I smile and wave. It's moments like these that remind me that i'm not entirely alone.

After withdrawing my cash, I reach into my bag and begin to pick at the four loaves of molding bread I bought about a month before but forgot to eat. I throw a handful into the 'pond'/gutter that lines the road and watch as the coy fight each other for the pieces. Gradually I make my way down the road, stopping at intervals to throw in some bread and watch the fight. As I walk, I think of how comfortable i've become here. I think of the friends I've made and just the random people who smile and ask me where I'm from as I go about my business.

A man darts across the street to throw two loaves of bread into the water. The coy and rush for them, only sm fragments excaping their assault. Before this moment I never really thought of how these fish survived or why they were kept there in the first place. Then I begin to compare my life here to life in Jamaica and I pinpoint three main differences.

If I were at home, I would've felt uncomfortable walking to any ATM to withrdraw so much money while here I don't have to think twice about carrying around large sums of money because the probability of me being robbed is slim to none. Secondly, I wouldn't be throwing bread to fish on the side of the road because A: I'd never be wasting bread and B: those fish would have been some crackhead/homeless man's dinner years ago or atleast be selling from a stall on the side of the road....I'm just saying. Lastly was the feeling of serenity and solidarity that one feels living in a suburban community in Japan. It's that close-knit post modern atmosphere that I have grown accustomed to and that I now call home.

Now don't get me twisted, I miss home like crazy. As Dorothy said... there's no place like it.

I mean I have atleast a dozen sexual flashbacks per day of me riding, side-saddling and quinting on a buddy and it's within those split seconds that I wonder why i'm torturing myself with this existence. I mean who am I fooling? I am a cockaholic and going a year without one is the equivalent to going through meth rehab...you never really kick the habit. And I keep having this reoccurring urge to corner an unsuspecting man and abuse him with my sexuality...
Needless to say I have yet to find such a man.


Nevertheless, I'm enjoying my time here, my independence, the freedom and solitude. At times I may feel lonely but for the most part I enjoy my time with me. It's the random moments that seem so insignificant that enrich my experience here. Like take for example at my Technical School (where I am right now typing this) every morning when I get to work there's a woman and her daughter waiting outside, right by the school doors. I tell them Good Morning and go inside but I can't help but wondering what the hell they're doing out there and why. Today I passed a teacher on her way to meet them outside...I will solve this mystery yet!


But despite my random Nancy Drew moments I do enjoy my life here. Went to EguchiHama Seaside Beach Park yesterday with the fam (i.e. Ken, Yoko, John, Shoko, the kids, Vandy and Roxy) and it was a blast. Didn't realise how much I missed the beach.

Anyhoo, i've been rambling for way too long now...so until next time

don't forget to clear the grease from the crease behind your ear.

Nadyaee-San!

Zen 08 - The First Concert

Aaaaah! It's come and gone. The display of months of hard work and persistent back/hand/arm pain. The final product. Apart from the expected minor errors I think it went smoothly...enough. I didn't cry from starvation nor did I suffer cardiac arrest so yes I think it was a good experience. Next month is Higashi-Ichiki... I can't wait... :-/

Synopsis:
The performances could have been better but what else can one expect work under such conditions. Atleast I didn't drop my bachi this time, actually I haven't dropped my bachi for a while, I think i've finally gotten this grip thing under control. I did forget the words to the song though, so my years of lip-syncing in the choir finally paid off.

OH yeh!

NaRoChaJin (our solo piece) got fucked up by the Guitarist a.k.a. Mr. Chaplin. [you'd have to see him to get it] It probably would have been better if we were humming it to raas....hey there's an idea!

What else? Let's see, my hands, back, arms, feet, entire body aches despite them releasing us from going back to Fukiage to unload the truck. Trust me ppl this body was no made for heavy lifting...no siree bob.

All in all, i'm glad I found taiko or rather taiko found me and subsequently imprisoned my soul. =S

As I type this my arms ache So i'm out.

Mata Ne!

Nadya Dee-San [Taiko Queen!]













nadyadee-san@softbank.ne.jp

Worst Blogger Ever

I must officially be the worst blogger on the face of the earth. I mean for someone who has so much to say why is it so difficult to just update this damn thing? It's the procrastinitis I think...it's been flaring up alot as of late.

Even though truth be told I have been so busy lately I barely have time to sleep muchless write a blog. Maybe blogs aren't for me...maybe i'm just supposed to stay inside my head...or maybe i'm just making up excuses again.

Alas I shouldn't be too hard on myself...after all I have been writing just not broadcasting...

Anyways I owe it to myself to try atleast to catch up on documenting my Japan Experience for future reference. So I shall make a vow to incrementally update the events of my life from the last rant about Japan up to the present. Just the important stuff though....and the occassional photograrph.

I'm thinking of the following sequence:

• The Office i.e. my experience"working in Japan"
• ALT life - teaching English to kids who don't wanna learn it plus the occassional random statement that warms my heart
• Taiko - my immersion into Japanese culture & my new obsession, concert and all
• Life in Japan - in general, how i'm living etc.
• Any other random nonsense that comes to me

So basically I have a whole lot of shit to write and no idea how or where to start but I suppose this is some sort of a start.

Hopefully my next blog will be sometime within this week...hopefully...

My back hurts and i'm tired...

Nadz